Lost in Transition

I’ve been feeling a little nostalgic lately listening to “For Good” from Wicked. It was the class song of the graduating class above me, and while it wasn’t my class that sang it, in that class was the majority of my friends who would be moving away to college.

Recently, I’ve been listening to that song not because I particularly miss my friends from high school, but it seems I’ve found myself in a similar place once again.

Transitioning out of college has been an adventure in a half. Friends are getting married and moving away, other friends moving out, some changing ministries in the church, some changing churches all together, others getting into relationships, others are having babies, and some are getting full time jobs. It seems that a lot of lives around me are changing and we’re all going places, but it feels kind of like this:
grand-central-terminal

We’re all going somewhere and I jump on for the ride not really sure where I’m going to end up.
The only thing is when the train pulls up to the station and everyone gets off to where they’re going, it feels kind of like this:
Woman on train

and I’m just like… “Where’d everybody go?” And it’s not like I’m not going places with my life right? I’m applying for grad school now to get my Masters and I’m planning a trip to either Greece, Ireland, the Grand Canyon, or maybe Halifax with my roommate. I’m on staff with my church part time and I help out with some down and out kids in our community. My relationship with God is ever growing relative to my humbleness and I get to influence people for Christ. Where I’m going isn’t the problem, but its who I’m with and lately it seems like, now, everyone’s going new places without me and it’s starting to feel a little lonely.

Where I’m going isn’t the problem, but its who I’m with and lately it seems like, now, everyone’s going new places without me and it’s starting to feel a little lonely.

Over coffee (or actually hot cocoa and water) a sister and I were empathizing with one another as we feel we are in similar places since her childhood best friend is getting married and moving away. We joked about how one day, though now pretty content in our singleness, we will really appreciate being in a committed relationship because it semi-guarantees a person will actually stick by your side. They’ll be around, you don’t have to worry about them getting a job that moves them away… they’ll basically never leave you or forsake you, right?

“Sounds like God” one us said. “Yea, funny how that works.” A woman at a bible study gave a message the other day about her husband dying in October and just how lost and purposeless she feels. Even at the end of her life, and me at the beginning, it’s funny the same truth is what fills that space. Through the bitter conquest of war, to the bottom of our pocketbooks, to the loneliness of our hearts and love beyond death God reminds us “Never will I leave you or forsake you.” (Deut 31:6, Heb 13:5)

And while that doesn’t make it easier, it does show us that we’re built for an eternal relationship with our God. We can’t fulfill that in one another, but in the meantime, we can make an impact on one another for a short time. And we do, we help each other grow and grow towards Christ.

And so having the song “For Good” stuck in my head has actually been quite perfect. People come and go in our lives and they make an impact and its sweet or hard, but people change us and God uses them too. And we must learn, maybe as one friend leaves at a time, God’s the one that never leaves, and we can depend on that.

And we must learn, maybe as one friend leaves at a time, God’s the one that never leaves, and we can depend on that.

For Good:

I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those who help us most to grow, if we let them and we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true, but I know I’m who I am today because I knew you…

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you I have been changed for good

It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime so let me say before we part
So much of me is made of what I learned from you
You’ll be with me like a hand print on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have re-written mine by being my friend…

Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird in a distant wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air I ask forgiveness for the things I’ve done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know there’s blame to share and none of it seems to matter anymore

Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better

And because I knew you I have been changed for good.

For Your Glory

I remember once I felt as though my life was a punching bag for Gods glory. That maybe he’d knew I could take the hits and glorify him, so he dished out the portion he did for me.

The greater truth is, regardless of whether or not that can be considered “fair” or right, Jesus was the ultimate punching bag for Gods glory in the cross… But not just his own sake but ours too as the letter to the church in Corinth says “Our light and momentary afflictions are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all”!

So, in light of my last post, here is “For Your Glory”:

For your glory:
I will taste the greatest heartbreak and much of greatest pain.
I will have seen the darkest places and walk out to live and proclaim.

I will have known the great despair that captures wounded lonely souls.
Hoping for a future or hoping just for hope.

For your glory:
I will feel temptation thick as sin and wring my towel dry in persevering resistance.

I will love another expecting nothing in return, giving until I’m spent, refreshed only by your word.

I will serve the poor or enemy you bring me along the way, knowing its to you I give and vengeance was never mine to pay.

For your glory:
I will live as though this is not my home and thank you for my life, Jesus, both now and evermore.

And I will speak of all these things: the hunger, joy, and tears to my lonely empty neighbors-

Oh, Lord, but give them itching ears to hear!

Diary of the Abused

Between the ages of 10-12, I experienced a variety of sexual abuse. While I used to think this was a huge statement of who I am, a big secret to unveil, it’s no longer defining me and instead I’m finding peace. Washed clean by the purity of another child, I didn’t realize what bondage I was under until this last summer.


You might not take compassion on me if you saw me on the street. I walk up rightly and I can run with speed. There are no scars from what I’ve seen or what’s been done to me.

But if you might have examined what is in me – these are the things I’m convinced only Jesus can love me in spite of.

I used to think my innocence was stolen from me, but as I consider who I was becoming at that time, I can see that I was offering an invitation. While that’s not everyone’s story, its part of mine. And while that doesn’t make me responsible I know I cannot blame just one person. I would have liked to, however. I’m haunted often by guilty memories of my letters of vengeance and words of unforgiving hatred; once heavily burdened by the weight of responsibility for the discouraging direction their life went after. Those are things Jesus has helped me let go for many years now.

But, there were a lot of other consequences, a lot of other scars I wore and carried. A lot of distortions of who I saw myself as, my sexuality, my relationships with other people, and the intertwining of all of those things. I think as I started following Jesus in college, I tried covering up those distortions with my convictions I was building only as an effort to silence a few demon hounds. They sounded a lot like temptations I indulged in the past, but as soon as my convictions began to be challenged, those temptations met me right in the face by the small hands of purity and innocence.


After crossing the finish line of high school, possibly on my hands and knees, I was convinced of a few things: I decided I’d probably never get married, never have kids, and that I was asexual. It was very complicated. At the same time I also desired those things a lot, but convinced I was too dangerous to ever take part in them.

I’m not entirely sure how to communicate this next part except to just be blunt.

It was like every time I experienced pleasure from touch, I was convinced it was sexual. It had to be. That’s all I ever knew it as. Every pleasure was lust. Slowly I convinced myself I was a monster. A twisted sickness that I couldn’t escape. I was stuck with myself. Too afraid of what I might become, I put up walls; marinading in solitude. Stuck in a push and pull of curiosity and fear.

Coming to college, I was hit upside the head with a 2×4 to follow Jesus, to find healing and forgiveness. Not only that, but I found this place where brothers and sisters just hugged each other. People held hands and cried on each others’ lap.

But of course, those old temptations followed so I built convictions about not touching that protected me; probably hurting my brothers and sisters a long the way.

About a year ago, it became time to face it when I was babysitting. We were reading a book when the child began to pet my arm. It was so sweet and nice, but my blood pressure raised as I considered that I’d been enjoying this moment in all the wrong ways. I remember thinking, “Is this who I am?”.

A prison of shame.

I’d read verses that Paul wrote to Timothy like “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners–of whom I am the worst” and nod in empathy. I’d pray things like “create in me a pure heart and renew a right spirit within me,” utterly convinced nothing could ever make me pure in the inmost places of my heart and mind-too ashamed of these temptations.

At some point during the beginning of 2014 I had a revelation about temptation and sin. Romans 6 says specifically “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin, because anyone who was died has been freed from sin”.

Temptation became just that. Temptation. A mere, weasily word that can be resisted and is rewarded when done so (James 1:12). I suddenly squelched every opportunity for the tempter to have any power over me, and so put to death the power sin held in my life. The mortification of sin, as John Owen calls it. As I think of that time, I can see this was a good foundation God was laying for what lie ahead.


Fast forward to this past summer: same home, same child, same lap; a lonely heart and a courage to change. He laid there with his back up to me and I asked if could draw a picture with my finger for him to guess. This was exactly how it happened the first time for me, when I was abused all those years ago. But, I felt compelled to re-live this memory. He said yes, and so I began to draw letters; he giggled and guessed. As he laid there, this little boy of 4 years, in all enjoyment and peace, gave to me an example of pleasure in perfect purity.

The next morning as I was waking in my bed, he came in to lay down with me. I sat up and started humming and drumming on his back gently. As he lay there, eyes closed, it was the purity in his face came up and washed over me as I witnessed such pleasure of a touch. It was possible. It was pure, and it was good. Not all touch had to be sexualized. It was like opening a door from a world of brokenness to a world of hope.

After that I remember thinking… I’ve been missing this part of human connection my whole life???????? No wonder I was swallowed by doubt and loneliness; I’d been missing one of the main forms of human connection! And so, somehow, my heart is healed by Jesus working through a child. And so we are the hands and feet, eh?


As I reflect on 2014 and think about the things I’ve learned this year, that was by far the most impacting. And why share all these considerably intimate details in a public domain? Well, first to glorify God and to show his healing work, secondly to confess my own sin and prove God’s great grace in forgiveness, and thirdly that maybe someone out there might feel burdened by the same thing looking for compassion or empathy. Or maybe that you might have a friend or a sibling, a wife or a daughter or son who was or will be here. That maybe you are burdened by your guilt of sin and need a reminder that our Lord Jesus is mighty to save.

Zephaniah 3:14-20
Sing, O Daughter of Zion; shout aloud, O Israel! Be glad and rejoice with all your heart, O Daughter of Jerusalem! The Lord has taken away your punishment, he has turned back your enemy. The Lord, the King of Israel, is with you; never again will you fear any harm.

On that day they will say to Jerusalem, “Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands hang limp. The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”

The sorrows for the appointed feasts I will remove from you; they are a burden and a reproach to you. At that time I will deal with all who opressed you; I will rescue the lame and gather those who have been scattered. I will give them praise and honor in every land where they were put to shame.

At that time I will gather you; at that time I will bring you home. I will give you honor and praise among all the peoples of the earth when I restore your fortunes before your very eyes,”  says the Lord.

A Famine of Truth

Oh, just reading through the prophets makes my heart ache! It makes my heart ache for God as his people fall away from him, reject, and refuse to glorify him. What a great God we have, and how sad it is that his people don’t praise him for the great awesome things he does for us, even just for giving us life, and eternal life.

From Ezekiel to Daniel, they make laws to worship kings who don’t even like their own rules, to people who prostitute themselves to idols and false gods; who were brought into the desert and walled in to hear the tender words of God in Hosea. Droughts and locusts in Joel calling the people to “Rend their hearts!” and now to Amos where even in utter desolation the people STILL will not return to the Lord.

What’s left to take away? How about the very words of true life?

Chapter 8 in Amos says from verse 11 on, “The days are coming” declares the Lord, “when I will send a famine through this land- not a famine of food or a thirst for water, but a famine of hearing the words of the Lord. Men will stagger from sea to sea and wander from north to east, searching for the word of the Lord, but they will not find it. In that day the lovely young women and strong young men will faint because of thirst.”

I’m not entirely sure what to think about that idea. Just kind of scary to imagine. Sure you might be afraid to be without food, our entire economy and social structure was once built off striving to provide enough for your family so you never have to go hungry. But, imagine going without the word of the Lord. Imagine finely dressed beautiful young women and strong young men, with full stomachs fainting in the streets from thirst for the truth. And we are, internally, aren’t we?

Deuteronomy 8:3 from the Exodus says “He [God] humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.”

This which Jesus stated again in Matthew and Luke when being tempted in the desert to turn stones into bread. “Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'”

And yet we choose that don’t we? We choose to deprive ourselves of the very words of life. The truth of the hope of salvation and the freedom of forgiveness of sins. The comfort that God will never leave us or forsakes us, or the truth that he keeps our tears in a bottle and perceives our very thoughts from afar. Who loves us despite our past selves and is willing to take on the sins of the world, is willing to come to earth as a baby, and is even willing to promise he will in the first place!

Oh I pray for a renewed hunger for myself, for Christians, and the world for the truth; to know it, understand it, speak it, and love it. That I would memorize it and meditate on it. That I would treasure it and share it! Teach us, oh God, what it means to have the very words of life before us, now that we have tasted and seen that you are good through our very own salvation. May Bibles be opened this Christmas and the Christmas story with our families read and hearts rendered to the Lord! In Jesus’ name- Amen.

Closed doors are open doors.

Being told “no” is tough. Being told “you’re just not cut out for it” stings. We’ve found someone else. You’re just not as qualified as we’d like. You just don’t have what it takes. Words of rejection. It just doesn’t match up to what it feels like when someone tells you yes.

For those who don’t know, I’ve been working two part-time jobs for the past 4 or 5 months… or however long its been. I didn’t even apply for the second one. My boss set me up at a lunch with a heavy-weighted-in and my resume was passed off and an email ended up in my inbox a few months later, followed by a phone call three days after I had lost my other job. Pay increase and a position in the direction I was headed career wise. It didn’t take long to say yes and I had a lot of faith and gratitude; God was with me.

Starting work, my coworker is a believer and is trying to reach out to our other coworkers. Day two and we’re already sharing our testimonies. Things are going well. I meet tons of people and learn a lot; I’m even envisioning my life working for this company. I meeting a lot of people and making a lot of connections. #blessed, right?

Time wars on. The 76 mile trek wears on me. My life starts to look a lot different and my priorities have changed. I have a meeting with a research scientist and on my drive I’m praying “God, if there’s a job with this scientist- I pray you’d let me know.” Before the words even leave my mouth completely, the guy assures me there’s no jobs in that field. “Ok, God. Guess that was pretty clear.” Maybe a week goes by, corn prices drop and people start getting fired (I work for a corn seed company). My supervisor stops in my cubical to check on my work and to give me a heads up on how things are going. She tells me I’m the best intern they’ve ever had, really quick and efficient, but there’s just not any room for full time. She discussed the end of my internship and suggested I start looking for other jobs. “Cool, thanks for letting me know,” I said.

Closed door. I remember driving home I didn’t really think much or pray much, not because I was entirely mad or angry. I don’t think I knew what to feel. I think I was just disappointed. Things are really exciting when God opens doors- its not quite the same when they close.

Pondering this weeks later, that’s where I stopped. Isn’t a closed door just as beneficial as an open one? Isn’t being told no just as helpful as being told yes? If direction is what we’re looking for from the Lord- isn’t either good?

I’d like to reason that it is. And while I can’t dispute or explain quite why being told no feels like rejection, I’d like to suggest an attitude adjustment. We get so disheartened when things don’t work out the way we’d like or initially hope. Sometimes people even doubt or question God because of it. Sure, it’s a little awkward- our pride gets hurt a bit in the process… but that’s all it is then… just pride. Maybe its good it gets a little hurt even once and a while- keeps us humble and weak.

While, I don’t have a lot of bible verses for this one this time- I have a suggestion:

Be encouraged by a “No” just as you would a yes. Be encouraged by a closed door just as you might an open one. 

Proverbs 16:9 says “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Be encouraged that a sovereign Lord who loved us enough to die for us on a cross has a mighty loving hand in the direction our lives go.

And now, I suppose for me a prayer request or two. Looks like I’m starting to walk in a different direction by joining up by working with our college ministry, God provided health insurance for me with my first job and some extra income to get ahead on my loans so it’ll work out great to transition. The only thing it feels like its in the opposite direction so its kind of intimidating. While God is closing some doors, He’s opening some other neat ones. I might even be able to start reaching out to a group of kids I used to spend a deal of time with again. Lord willing! Thanks for laboring with me in this.

Carry on in faith and love whether the doors are opened or closed or even if it doesn’t feel like there’s a door at all!

-Teresa

Repent and Live!

I finished reading Ezekiel this week, and while most of it was obscure and almost incomprehensible for me, there is one theme I saw over and over which is God’s heart towards his people and sin. One question I think about that I’ve heard from people who doubt God and question him is the idea that God is not good because he sends people to hell or that maybe God even delights in sending people to hell, or at least doesn’t mind. Then those people stray away from God. I mean if God delighted in the death of the wicked, I think I would be hesitant too. Seems a little twisted.

However, that’s actually not how God feels at all.

Ezekiel 18:23-32. You can see that what God delights in, is not in the death of the wicked or unrighteous, but rather he delights in those wicked and unrighteous people repenting.

He asks (vs 23) “Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? […] Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?

Then he goes on to declare about how if righteous people pursue wickedness they will not live, but if the wicked turn from their evil deeds and pursue righteousness they will live... so may we always pursue righteousness! 

And then “Therefore, oh house of Israel, I will judge you, each one according to his ways,” declares the Sovereign Lord, “Repent! Turn away from your offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, O house of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone. Repent and live!”

God is not concerned with our list of acts of wickedness or righteous deeds. He concerned about our heart of repentance. That we would turn from our offenses and not allow sin to cause our downfall.

I don’t know how you come to the Lord today. Whether you are burdened with guilt from your sins or wallowing in self righteousness and pride, but what God wants for you is to continually come back and turn from your sin, to leave it behind, and to look towards Jesus to give you a new heart and a new spirit.

It’s interesting to think about how these verses apply today since most people think that accepting Christ once is all it takes, as if you don’t have to listen to God’s word any more now that you’re saved. We’re righteous now right, covered by the blood of the lamb? I might encourage you to stop and think about your salvation if you’re not living a life with a repentant attitude. Verse 24 says “But if a righteous man turns from his righteousness and commits sin and does the same detestable things the wicked man does, will he live? None of the righteous things he has done will be remembered. Because of the unfaithfulness he is guilty of and because of the sins he has committed, he will die.” Are you a “righteous” man and doing wicked deeds and not looking to Christ and the Holy Spirit to help you overcome? You just may die. And I mean that to question how seriously you’ve taken your salvation and to encourage you to reconsider what you’re living your life for. There will be more hope for a wicked man who repents than that righteous man who continues in wickedness, trusting in his own righteousness (Ezekiel 33:13).

And God pleads with you “Why will you die?!”

So repent, repent and live! And trust in the righteousness of the Lord!

My Mother’s Story

My mom became a member of the our church back in Wisconsin and apart of that was sharing your testimony with the pastor and elders last week. My mom didn’t know quite what to say, so she wrote a prayer poem to the Lord… so I thought I’d share. To know how far my mom has come and all that she has been through… this is only a tiny peek, but I’m so blessed and amazed to have been in her life and apart of this story that it really makes all that I’ve been through worth it. Hope you enjoy my mother’s story.

Lord Jesus when I was little,
I knew just who you were.
Great almighty and powerful,
always willing to hear your word.

I believe you guided my parents,
as they taught me wrong from right.
Sending me to Sunday school,
and praying with me each and every night.

I attended Catholic Church,
I attended Catholic school.
There I learned about you Lord,
and the 12 most important rules.

Often when I attended school and Church,
I was not the happiest there.
I felt like I was being judged,
Like they were not being fair.

So it was then I fell from my Church,
That I attended regularly.
Tried to make it on my own,
and now its no surprise to me.

Yes Lord, I have stumbled,
Struggling through the years.
Looking hard to find you,
knowing you were always near.

Lord I come to you a sinner,
Lord I have made the most terrible mistakes.
Before you Lord I ask forgiveness,
please keep me in your grace.

When asked once how I found you,
the words seemed hard to find.
And then with thought, how it occurred,
the very place and time…

Yes it was in a car ride,
you know going from here to there.
Through the words of my little girl,
she asked me just to share…

When at first she asked me…
Mom, how are you and God today?
Was Christ my Lord and Savior?
Was it clear I knew the way?

I was caught a bit off guard,
Not sure of exactly what to say.
Patiently she heard the explanation,
that I thought of right away.

I assured her, Christ is my Lord,
he has always been in my heart.
That I have always looked to him,
confident that he guided my heart.

It was just then that I began to realize,
that there was so much more that I needed to do,
to make my peace with God,
and my Lord and Savior too.

I needed to make a commitment,
with all my strength and might.
To live each day with the Love of God,
and Christ as my guiding light.

I know that I am human,
and my temptations can be strong.
There will be times I need to pray,
to stay the path I am on.

Lord you are my savior,
its you I want to serve.
Make me your disciple,
help me to learn and teach your word.

Help me to learn your holy book,
search the words each and every day.
Help me to hear the sermon,
and understand this is the only way.

Now I stand before you,
God in the house you have built.
Please let this be my home,
now free from my past sins and guilt.

Lord I give myself to you,
I know you will guide the way.
Lord, each day know that I will seek you,
and give you all the glory each and every day.

Carry on in faith and love,
Teresa

Keeping Wisdom in View.

Somewhere over the last couple of months, maybe after one too many conversations about the need to be upfront and honest with people, I must have decided to give myself permission or find the need to be totally upfront and honest with people.

Sounds great. Until you, unfortunately, stick two people pleasing roommates with one roommate who, I’d say most unfortunately, can’t be pleased and even more so finds great (unhealthy) frustration in misplaced motivation for people pleasing. That’d be… me. What started off as honestly was soon tumulted into fiery insults and bad attitudes… and sooner or later I found myself wedging a huge vice in between some of the greatest friendships I have. What once was pleasant, joyous fellowship was now being choked slowly by frustration and a growing terror. What would happen next if they tried to wake the sleeping bear?

Somewhere a long the way, rebuke was delivered and so began the growing pains.

Do you ever look in the mirror and not like what you see? Try holding a mirror up to your heart once… it was so… disappointing. Oh, I know, I’ve been praying to grow in gentleness… but it was just like- Teresa, who are you?

A dear brother shared a verse with me one Sunday morning “When words are many, sin is not absent; but he who holds his tongue is wise,” he reminded me. Yes. I remember that. I used to have that one memorized and repeat it to myself daily. Now, I couldn’t even remember the reference. (It’s Proverbs 10:19, btw) What happened?

I started flipping through Proverbs and found good conviction and affirmation of my foolishness.

“A man who lacks judgement derides (ridicules, mocks, scoffs) his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.”  (11:12)

“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.” (12:16)

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (12:18)

“He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.” (13:3)

Oh they go on and on! So why did this all happen?

“A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool’s eye wanders to the end of the earth.” (17:24)

I stopped keeping wisdom in view. Sure, I was reading the word… trudging slowly through the prophets as I’ve been, maybe flipping to the NT every once and while. But, storing up wisdom? Reading through the Proverbs? Wasn’t doing that. Wasn’t searching for it as for silver or hidden treasure, wasn’t binding it around my neck or writing it on the tablet of my heart. Just being foolish.

So what hope is there for a fool? Well, Jesus for one. He paid for my sin in all of this, painfully, on the cross. So, forgiveness and a hope of sanctification as I pursue him more and more.

“Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed. […] My son, preserve sound judgement and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.” (Proverbs 2:13-18, 21-26 NIV)

And so because I do what I do… here’s a song I wrote tonight. “Keeping Wisdom in View”

If I could take back
all that I said
and it could be written
by someone who cared
cared

someone like you
someone like you

I gave up control
and my tongue had its own
and I turned a deaf ear
revealing a fool
fool

and silenced the truth
silenced the truth

Wisdom won’t you come at my gate
I’m ready to let you in
For all of my friends might have thrown me to waste
unless I bind you within
unless I bind you within

My wandering eyes
led me, poor, in disguise
now truth is a witness
to uncover these lies
lies

now how poor am I?
Oh how poor am I.

Wisdom won’t you come at my gate
I’m ready to let you in
For all of my friends might have thrown me to waste
unless I bind you within
unless I bind you within.
Please Jesus, come abide within.

Here’s a link to hear it, for what that’s worth.
http://youtu.be/cJ400KmndOw

Carry on in faith and love, and wisdom!

Teresa

Wonderful Savior

Wonderful Savior
Jesus Christ our Lord,
Who appointed was anointed
For our sake, and love.

I dwell on my sin
What heartache- but grace!
Will lift me again, right out of this grave.

Wonderful Savior
Your Spirit within,
Though scolds me, You embolden me
A sweet, comforting exchange.

I dwell on my sin
That’s been nailed to the tree.
Oh let me hear twice, how far ‘way it must be!

Wonderful Savior
And a Father to lead,
Who is gracious and patient
And loves everlastingly.

I dwell on my sin,
Though led me astray,
Has now brought me here
To remember your grace.

Oh Wonderful Savior,
Oh how worthy of praise.
Thank you, oh thank you for taking my place.
Thank you, oh thank you for loving this soul
in all of your many wonderful ways.

Hibernation.

my obsession has become a dangerous addiction
one that’s tempted to distort my own inhibitions
and i admit i’ve tried on my own will, conviction
couldn’t come soon enough to kill this belabored premonition

i was just trying to take the edge off.

but no one ever mentioned the way up the mountain
was dangerous, heavy, and steep
and that the path to the valley, though catalyzed by folly
was slippery, swift, and sweet.

now i’m not sure which way I’ve been walking.
and i’m not too sure I’m sober to see.

on this long lonely highway, many memories precede
but it’s this damned premonition that keeps on following me.
A truth I say I never wanted to see, but the much greater truth is
I just wish it would be.

And so much has stemmed from this dangerous addiction
One I try to cover with purposeful distorted ambition.
All I’ve caused for this journey is intense intoxication.
I’ve fallen in love with these secrets told to me;
could be just lies, but you see they’ve really just sold me.

and I admit I’ve tried by my own benediction, conviction
couldn’t come soon enough to bury this soul;
so now what I’m suffering is prolonged by agony
in awaiting the future. Unfold.

I was trying to take the edge off-
some lonely miserable existence.
I better hope this is just some terrible mountain climbing experience.
Or that your grace will be there waiting
when Reality sets in to replace my belabored hibernation.

Either way, I am ready now, Lord,
to face the wind and the resistance.