Sometimes I read the book of Job and I shake my head. Dude be crazy. Like Job, why do you have so much pride?
Then I read Job and I think “Poor Job, he’s got a bunch of bolts and screws for friends… they’re no help, no comfort, at all… except that one younger dude, he at least says something meaningful.”
Then I read Job and I’m humbled! “God you are so powerful and so much greater than me”
Sometimes I read Job and I ask “God why won’t you answer me?”
Doubt can attack you like a thief in the night, sneaking up, taking control – convincing you that God isn’t all you thought you were told. It leaves your heart: bitter, cold. I could turn from faith; it doesn’t really seem like God is leading me, it doesn’t really seem like He’s meeting me, it doesn’t really seem like He cares.
No answers, deaf ears… a hopeless mess is all I’ve got here.
Sometimes I read Job and I see how he didn’t give up and He kept asking. Sometimes I read Job and I see that God answered and it brings me to tears.
Doubt weighs on our souls and sometimes it makes you wish you’d never been born, but today I entertained a thought of my purpose without God and there just isn’t one. I entertained the thought of never praying again and I felt lonely, my soul felt sick, my heart: nauseous.
Even when I doubt, God still loves and God still knows. He’s still in control. The earth hasn’t stopped moving, we all haven’t exploded. My heart may be confused and cold: but God still knows.
Maybe I’ll just keep asking, maybe God will humble me soon, and maybe I’ll repent to dust and ashes and God will restore by soul.
“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good”. Romans 12:21
Don’t let your doubts keep you from God… just keep giving them to Him… He is faithful to answer in due time.