my obsession has become a dangerous addiction
one that’s tempted to distort my own inhibitions
and i admit i’ve tried on my own will, conviction
couldn’t come soon enough to kill this belabored premonition
i was just trying to take the edge off.
but no one ever mentioned the way up the mountain
was dangerous, heavy, and steep
and that the path to the valley, though catalyzed by folly
was slippery, swift, and sweet.
now i’m not sure which way I’ve been walking.
and i’m not too sure I’m sober to see.
on this long lonely highway, many memories precede
but it’s this damned premonition that keeps on following me.
A truth I say I never wanted to see, but the much greater truth is
I just wish it would be.
And so much has stemmed from this dangerous addiction
One I try to cover with purposeful distorted ambition.
All I’ve caused for this journey is intense intoxication.
I’ve fallen in love with these secrets told to me;
could be just lies, but you see they’ve really just sold me.
and I admit I’ve tried by my own benediction, conviction
couldn’t come soon enough to bury this soul;
so now what I’m suffering is prolonged by agony
in awaiting the future. Unfold.
I was trying to take the edge off-
some lonely miserable existence.
I better hope this is just some terrible mountain climbing experience.
Or that your grace will be there waiting
when Reality sets in to replace my belabored hibernation.
Either way, I am ready now, Lord,
to face the wind and the resistance.