Keeping Wisdom in View.

Somewhere over the last couple of months, maybe after one too many conversations about the need to be upfront and honest with people, I must have decided to give myself permission or find the need to be totally upfront and honest with people.

Sounds great. Until you, unfortunately, stick two people pleasing roommates with one roommate who, I’d say most unfortunately, can’t be pleased and even more so finds great (unhealthy) frustration in misplaced motivation for people pleasing. That’d be… me. What started off as honestly was soon tumulted into fiery insults and bad attitudes… and sooner or later I found myself wedging a huge vice in between some of the greatest friendships I have. What once was pleasant, joyous fellowship was now being choked slowly by frustration and a growing terror. What would happen next if they tried to wake the sleeping bear?

Somewhere a long the way, rebuke was delivered and so began the growing pains.

Do you ever look in the mirror and not like what you see? Try holding a mirror up to your heart once… it was so… disappointing. Oh, I know, I’ve been praying to grow in gentleness… but it was just like- Teresa, who are you?

A dear brother shared a verse with me one Sunday morning “When words are many, sin is not absent; but he who holds his tongue is wise,” he reminded me. Yes. I remember that. I used to have that one memorized and repeat it to myself daily. Now, I couldn’t even remember the reference. (It’s Proverbs 10:19, btw) What happened?

I started flipping through Proverbs and found good conviction and affirmation of my foolishness.

“A man who lacks judgement derides (ridicules, mocks, scoffs) his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.”  (11:12)

“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.” (12:16)

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (12:18)

“He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.” (13:3)

Oh they go on and on! So why did this all happen?

“A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool’s eye wanders to the end of the earth.” (17:24)

I stopped keeping wisdom in view. Sure, I was reading the word… trudging slowly through the prophets as I’ve been, maybe flipping to the NT every once and while. But, storing up wisdom? Reading through the Proverbs? Wasn’t doing that. Wasn’t searching for it as for silver or hidden treasure, wasn’t binding it around my neck or writing it on the tablet of my heart. Just being foolish.

So what hope is there for a fool? Well, Jesus for one. He paid for my sin in all of this, painfully, on the cross. So, forgiveness and a hope of sanctification as I pursue him more and more.

“Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed. […] My son, preserve sound judgement and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.” (Proverbs 2:13-18, 21-26 NIV)

And so because I do what I do… here’s a song I wrote tonight. “Keeping Wisdom in View”

If I could take back
all that I said
and it could be written
by someone who cared
cared

someone like you
someone like you

I gave up control
and my tongue had its own
and I turned a deaf ear
revealing a fool
fool

and silenced the truth
silenced the truth

Wisdom won’t you come at my gate
I’m ready to let you in
For all of my friends might have thrown me to waste
unless I bind you within
unless I bind you within

My wandering eyes
led me, poor, in disguise
now truth is a witness
to uncover these lies
lies

now how poor am I?
Oh how poor am I.

Wisdom won’t you come at my gate
I’m ready to let you in
For all of my friends might have thrown me to waste
unless I bind you within
unless I bind you within.
Please Jesus, come abide within.

Here’s a link to hear it, for what that’s worth.
http://youtu.be/cJ400KmndOw

Carry on in faith and love, and wisdom!

Teresa

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