Child of Divorce: Do Not Fear

I came across this article today.

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/child-of-divorce-do-not-fear-marriage

My parents are divorced so it relates in that way, but most of this I hear ALL the time so I begin scrolling past all the “generic” truths about how I’m not bound to repeat the past, I’m free from generational sin, and blah blah blah (I’m being kind of dramatic), but then I got to the golden nugget of truth that God has really been rewiring in my brain these last 4 weeks: no matter how much healing I get, or truth I get, or wisdom I store up (which is good to do) – it does not protect me from suffering. There is no guarantee for me (or any of us) to walk into situations or circumstances (like marriage, parenting, or any other ministry) and avoid walking roads of suffering (including divorce). In fact Jesus promises that we will have MUCH trouble in this life. We are broken people.

I think more and more everyday God is helping me to let go of my fear of pain and suffering and helping me to walk knowing He is my confidence!

I am afraid of marriage. I think it sounds pretty awful. I think chaining yourself to someone and giving them the opportunity and power to ravage you makes me want to huddle in a ball in a dark corner of my heart. But, I also have a deep seeded desire and a great curiosity to discover what love and life is like in marriage. I want to understand Gods love more in that context, and I believe that is a righteous desire he has given me. If he didn’t, my instinct because of my fears would be to just sign the figurative contract to be single. For me I tend to think that no, it’s not so bad to never have loved at all than to have lost. Sorry Lord Tennyson.

So maybe God will lead me into marriage someday, maybe he won’t; but my spirit is becoming more and more convinced that I can’t say no simply out of fear of pain. And saying yes, for me, will mean yes despite or in light of the pain. Which will be a powerful commitment for me. I am not unaware of the potential suffering in store, I am more unaware of the potential blessings in store.

A dear sister (Christie) told me a few days ago, after a sermon on gender, marriage, and roles at a sister church we were visiting; that God gives us the strength in the times of suffering. God does not give us the strength to worry when it hasn’t yet arrived, but he offers us his confidence to be willing to be vulnerable.

So child of divorce (or any other circumstance), you do not have to fear marriage. Yes, but I may have titled the article: you don’t have to fear God leaving you in suffering though your heart and flesh fail or the other heart and flesh fails that you’ve bound yourself to. He, the Lord, is our strength, our confidence, our portion.

Forever.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Child of Divorce: Do Not Fear

  1. Chelsea Peck May 2, 2017 / 3:41 PM

    Love hearing your thoughts and how God is working in your heart, as always.

    I have been reading Hosea this week, and I think your observation that God will never leave even when others do is amazing in light of the fact of how unfaithful we are to him. He jumps into marriage with his church, saving us while knowing full well that we are prone to be unfaithful and betray him. I hope you don’t experience extreme betrayal or abandonment if you get married, but you can be sure that if you do, Christ knows your sufferings. (And that is true for any married person, because everyone is guaranteed to be hurt to some degree by their spouse’s sin).

    Miss you!

    • teresarose May 2, 2017 / 11:20 PM

      Thanks Chelsea! I miss you too. I didn’t think of Hosea, but now that you mention it, it really relates. God binds himself to us even in our unfaithfulness. I think it actually makes the idea more comforting for me knowing that is how the Lord treats me. Thanks for sharing that thought. And I hope too that I won’t experience all of that hurt in marriage! :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s